Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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