we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
