even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
