i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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