the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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