He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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