is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
