he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
