Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he wants to bone in the snuggie
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She announced her abortion via fbk
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
