HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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