i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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