Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
