Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
