My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
