Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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