Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
