There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
