what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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