i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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