Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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