Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
