Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
