I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
