Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The power of my boobs compel you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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