I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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