just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
