he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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