I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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