he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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