Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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