i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
