I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
