I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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