Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I got inside last night via doggy door
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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