well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
