those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
