You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
