She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
