laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
