This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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