I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
