Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
