explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
