And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
