At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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