Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
