I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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