did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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