I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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