I murdered the dance floor call the cops
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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