do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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