In the future we'll all be gay
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
