sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
