my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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