physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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