Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
