HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
